September 1, 2014

Our Final Breastfeed

By Kevin In 35mm, Candid, Natural Light, With Mom

The benefits to breastfeeding are three-fold; immunological, nutritional, and emotional. The WHO recommends nursing for a minimum of two years and for as long as the child wants.

Noelle, I wanted to let you decide when you were done nursing. You still love it. And when I informed you of the change last night, you volunteered that you felt “mad, angry, and sad.”

Unfortunately, I developed Nursing Aversion many months ago. In spite of my best efforts to ease it, it’s made nursing unbearable.

We have been gently and gradually weaning over the last few months. My goal was to make it to three years, or at least two and half, but it’s too uncomfortable.

I don’t want to bathe you in the negative emotions I experience while nursing. I want to model body boundaries and consent for you.

This morning we nursed for the very last time.

Two years, two months.

I will miss you running to the rocking chair excitedly to nurse. I’ll miss your little burp after you finishing nursing. I’ll miss you asking for “milkies” and saying, “nurse!” without the R. I’ll miss this bond we’ve shared since you were born.

I’m looking forward to where our journey will take us next.

~ Mom

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7 Comments
  1. Penny Hevey September 2, 2014

    Feel for you so much, I could see the tears in your eyes in the photo’s 🙁 I am struggling with feeding my 2 yr 3 month little boy too, and the aversion seems set in. I was hoping he’d stop on his own. But he isn’t. All the best for your journey. You’ve done so well x

    Reply
  2. Vanessa Bender September 2, 2014

    I can feel your sorrow, and looking at you daughter cling to your hair in the top photo just tugs on my heart strings. Each journey is unique, you have done an amazing job for your little girl.

    Reply
  3. Katharine September 3, 2014

    Thank you both.

    She is taking it much better than I would’ve ever thought!

    Compared to night weaning, this was a piece of cake.

    I am hurting yet I am glad I weaned her.

    I think nursing her while having an aversion was poisoning our relationship. I feel more patient with her and accepting of her naturally turbulent two year old feelings now.

    Reply
  4. Dawn Burke September 7, 2014

    Kat, this is beautiful. I know this is a big loss for you. It is also a show of strength– you have fought for this, have carried on as long (or longer) than you thought, and in the end realized the important thing is to show your daughter that you love her so very much. Breastfeeding is one way to show that love in the beginning, and she is a lucky child to have gone past two years. Weaning now, gradually and with love, so that you can continue to be the best mama for your girl shows that you *are* a good mother– we can’t take care of our children unless we also take care of ourselves. There are many “weanings” throughout our lifetimes. The important thing is that you continue to nurture the special relationships through and after these changes. You will both adjust, and your daughter will be better for the love and strength you have shown her these past two years.

    Reply
    • Katharine September 10, 2014

      Dawn,

      Since the first time I attended a La Leche League meeting, you and the other leaders have provided so much knowledgable support and care. I am so grateful to you and LLL for helping me with breastfeeding Noelle and being such a welcoming group. I routinely recommend LLL to new mothers. Thank you for commenting on my post,

      Katharine

      Reply
  5. drdawn September 22, 2014

    I know how hard it is to wean…Grant weaned at 3 1/2 yrs (only with encouragement), while Ava went for 26 months and was done. Both times I felt a loss. With the benefit of perspective though, I can now see that it was a beginning rather than an end. You are starting a new chapter in your relationship. You can still snuggle and feel close…that part can last a long time. Grant is 14 and still likes to snuggle with me! Know that you are doing an awesome job and Noelle feels it. You can see the bond in Kevin’s pictures. 🙂

    Reply
    • Katharine September 22, 2014

      That made me cry. Thank you!

      Reply

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