Noelle, you’re a year old! I can’t believe that the same girl I was rocking to sleep not long ago is now walking around, speaking a few words, dancing when I play music, blowing kisses, and playing in water fountains.
What an amazing first year.
This morning the idea popped into my head to choose the three most important things you’ve taught me over the past year. I hope to do this every single year. And trust me, it’s so hard to narrow this down to only three things.
#1: The Rat Race Is a Mouse Trap
You’ve completely shifted my view of “success.” In my twenties, my goal was to build awesome businesses and make millions of dollars. In a week, I’ll be entering my 30s with a completely different goal.
What do I want now? Most of all, I want to be comfortable financially without trading my time for money and without being tied to a schedule.
It’s all about you. Missing the experience of seeing you grow up and being there for you and with you is not worth any amount of extra money.
So, going forward, success will be providing for you while being there with you. I can’t afford to separate those two things. It might take a little time to make this a reality, but it’s my goal.
#2: Children Are Whole People
I could go on for days about this one. I thought I understood this concept before you were born, but now that you’re here and I’ve been with you for a year, I understand it on a much deeper level.
My observation is that children in general are not treated as whole people:
Adults talk to babies with “baby talk,” they pass kids around, they make them hug and kiss people against their will, they yell and scream at them, they hit them, they make fun of them, they say sarcastic and hurtful things to them, they invade their personal space, they humiliate them, they touch them on the face or pat them on the head or tickle them, they beg them to perform, they pick them up without asking, they force them to “share,” they “show” them things — robbing them of the opportunity of discovery –, they pester them with empty praise, they coerce them and trick them, they abandon them, they invalidate them, and they shame them.
And I’m sure I left a few things out.
I thought I noticed this stuff before you were born, but now my brain is a radar for it. And I can’t believe: 1) How much it happens, 2) How generally accepted it is and 3) How almost nobody else notices or cares.
Mom and I have gone to great lengths to protect you from this stuff and to treat you as a whole person. And in doing that, you’ve also taught me that:
#3: Caring What Other People Think is a Leadership Failure
I can’t afford to care what other people think because you’re a year old and don’t yet have a voice that’s powerful enough to tell others to back off. Caring what other people think divides my priority between you and them. That’s not a tradeoff I can make.
Mom is still better at this right now than I am, but I’m getting there more and more each day.
I love you so much and I’m looking forward to an amazing year two with you.
~ Dad
p.s. – Mom has a letter to you that I’ll put up tomorrow.